Elephants : Large piles of manure :: Modern judicial systems :

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Proving that the mass effect of modern judicial systems is the abortive expression of our species’ utter futility, jurors in Los Angeles could not find former officer Jeremy Morse guilty of police brutality that was caught on video-tape. District Attorney Steve Cooley is apparently such a nitwit that he may not muster the resolve to seek a retrial. Of course, there are more pressing issues to consider in California, such as the use of symbols that bear similarity to roadway markings on billboards featuring nudity. One has to wonder why California is in a budget crisis…

Showing the west coast how to solve problems is Bartow, Florida resident Karen Abe, who chained her sons to their beds to keep them out of trouble. Unfortunately, the courts interfered in what was an otherwise perfect parenting solution…

Once in a long while, the United States fails to exhibit the most pitiable obliquity that the human race has to offer. Today, that trophy goes to the court of Moss, Norway, who failed to convict an Oslo man of driving while intoxicated because he was under the influence of alcohol when he confessed. That a blood test registered alcohol levels above that at which one would begin to show the effects of alcohol poisoning was apparently insufficient evidence.

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