Never say that we aren’t a source of innovation…

Filed under: — site admin @ 7:11 pm

In an act of criminal inspiration, two teenagers, dressed as clowns, performed for the 20 passengers of a small bus near Mexico City’s airport and subsequently robbed them. Sadly, the duo did not evade capture, as they were dressed as clowns.

Police in Silverton, Oregon inspected the house of Norman Gould, a 26-year-old man arrested on explosives charges, and discovered several more explosive devices. During the time-consuming removal of the explosives from his home, Gould, locked in a police car, complained of being hot. Officers opened the window between the front and rear seats to allow cool air through, affording Gould the opportunity to climb through the aperture and steal the car. As of this writing, he is still at large.

Somewhat similar in nature, but far less intentional, Gilles Francoeur of St-Jerome, Quebec drove at speed through a group of 50 people. One of the crowd-members remained lodged in Francoeur’s windshield for nearly an hour before police forced Francoeur to the side of the road. It is important to note that Francoeur was both drunk and 59 years of age. Francoeur will remain jailed until his initial trial appearance, as the crowd-member was killed and several others injured.

Francoeur, if aquitted, could consider suing the manufacturers of alcohol and automobiles. Kevin Presland, of Sydney, Australia managed to net an award of $300,000 as a result of the supposed negligence demonstrated by Doctor Jacob Nazarian in allowing Presland to leave, rather than holding him against his will. The release of Presland afforded him the opportunity to murder his brother’s fiancee, for which he was aquitted, due to his psychotic state.

No jury would convict any New Yorker for violently rectifying the mephitic stupidity of city meter-maids who wrote parking tickets while nearby citizens directed traffic to relieve congestion during the blackout. The opportunistic parking-vultures looked on as volunteers relieved the gridlock, were photographed doing so, and then drove off. The New York Police Department refused to comment without first seeing copies of the tickets and refused to check police records to determine if any tickets were issued after the blackout began.

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