Giving back the greatest gift you have…

Filed under: — site admin @ 12:12 pm

Alfonse Mumbo, of Kajulu Wath Orego, Kenya was so upset with the thought of his wife cheating on him that he cut off his own genitals with a kitchen knife. Honestly, there really isn’t much more to say…

Bearing only a slightly more reasonable excuse, a student in Halle, Germany, while under the influence of the hallucinogen, Angels’ Trumpet, cut off both his penis and tongue with garden shears. OW! Doctors were unable to re-attach either appendage. It seems that the most sound advice, given the situation, is to continue to take massive amounts of several drugs simultaneously.

Neither of the aforementioned geldings had the good fortune of being within range of Pyotr Shcheplev’s Muzhskaya Skoraya Pomoshch, a center at Moscow’s hospital Number 50 made famous by its reconstruction and re-attachment of a penis that had been circular-sawed into six disjoint pieces.

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